In a stunning announcement Thursday, Presidential Candidates George Bush and Al Gore announced the following announcement to a stunned White House press corp.

"Why I think we durn near figured out a solution to this here crisis of ours," Bush was quoted as saying."

"A race!" Gore interjected, hardly able to suppress a sigh. "We're going to have a race."

"Not just any race," Bush was quick to counter. "We are going to the fastest dang fool speedway we could think of, the Talladega Motorway."

"And it's not going to be pretty," Gore responded, almost suppressing yet another very audible and noticeable sigh. "We've waived some of the rules, making it a two man demolition derby at a mad-paced two hundred miles an hour."

Gore, always one with a keen eye to the MTV generation, has solicited the network as the main sponsor for his Ford Taurus stock, while Bush has already been rejected by Lifetime whom he solicited as a sponsor for his.

Sponsors were quick to jump at this opportunity and both candidates with combined sponsorships climbing well over the trillion dollar range. "With any luck," Gore comments, "we might just come up with enough money to fund our next campaigns."

"In one, two, maybe three states max," Bush was heard to counter. "You have to realize that these campaigns cost quite a bit of money."

In another startling announcement later that day, former candidate Ross Perot announced his intention to rejoin the race and make another bid for the Presidency.

When commenting on his sponsorship, Perot said he intends to sponsor his own vehicle, while onetime candidate Ralph Nader responded to queries about his intentions in the race. "Sponsor one?" he was thought to be heard saying, "Hell, I'll build my own."

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