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The FarceHaven Tribune

Old Thomas Paine letters Hint Affair with Lady Gaga's Great Great Great Grandma
By Don Myers -- Contributing Author

History Professor James R. Mildew today released copies of made up letters said to be penned by one of America's most famous founding fathers, Thomas Paine (which were imagined to be written to and for the elder Lady Gaga Germanotta in 1787)

Old Lady Gaga is reported to be the Great, Great, Great (Oh for heaven's sakes) Great Grandmother of the famous entertainer and singer Lady Gaga who dominates the entertainment industry news today.

Mildew, ( who said he was given the letters last Thursday night in a dark alley on the wrong side of the tracks in Boston) Insists the letters are legitimate and said he is having them carbon dated to prove their authenticity. "If these are real, and I think they are . . .  imagine the implications . . . how exciting!" he said.

Paine, who in addition to being an author, revolutionary and avowed atheist was a "corsette maker" by trade. He reportedly met the elder Lady Gaga when she was the headliner . . .  dancing at an area pub.

The FarceHaven made several attempts to contact Lady Gaga for an interview, but we were told she is in London working feverishly on her next effort to embarrass and insult Christians and Jews.

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