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The FarceHaven Tribune
"Lefty" one of the make believe bartenders at the popular Coach's Corner Bar at 501 N. Adams Street in Green Bay told the FarceHaven he doesn't think his exclusive game loss grief counseling services will be needed too much this season but says "I'm ready to serve the needs of Packer Fans if the team drops a game here or there."
Lefty, who graduated "Always Cum Later" from an on line Institute he prefers not to name, says he has a degree in grief counseling that will enable his to help patrons deal with the occasional loss by the Packers . . . "I can lift their chins out of their beers and quickly return them to good cheer by reminding them about the good things they get by being a Packer Fan." Lefty says he will offer free of charge the use of his skills in the art of acupuncture, full and partial front and rear lobotomies, and aggressive tickling of the private parts which he says he enjoys the most with pretty girls. Lefty ended the interview by saying "My unique services will be available on Packer game days until closing if needed "I am a port in a storm for Green Bay Packer fans!"