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The FarceHaven Tribune

"Please Don't Squeeze the Charmin" Creator Dies: Mass Squeezing Feared
By Don Myers -- Contributing Author

FLASH- Or should I say flush . . .  anyway FarceHaven is sad to report the passing of an American icon John Chervokas. Chervokas was the Advertising Writer who created the "Mr Whipple" ad campaign that made toilet paper squeezing a class A felony in the United States. He died Saturday at the age of 74.

Dick Wilson was the famous actor in the campaign that was rated as the 51st Best Advertising Campaign of the 20TH Century by Advertising Age Magazine. He died at the age of 91 in 2001

CNN's Mini Cooper reports that "mass Charmin squeezing" has broken out across the world and is now creating huge problems in the MidEast. "Many Muslim men have never before been exposed to bathroom tissue and frankly are having problems with the proper handling or techniques required to efficiently use Charmin (which is now the number 2) selling tissue in Saudi Arabia.

COO Anthony Romano told the FarceHaven "We are working around the clock to see this squeezing doesn't get out of hand . . .  We have received calls from the UN voicing their concerns and I want to insure them and everyone else that those who abuse our tissue will be brought to justice and put in a place where they will be forced to use Scott Tissues or maybe even sumpin worser!"

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