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The FarceHaven Tribune
Chinese President Hu Jintao sent shock waves through financial markets today when he disclosed the fact that China actually DOES own America after President Nixon secretly lost it in the 5th and final game of Chinese Checkers with Chaiman Mao Zedung during a historic visit in 1972.
Jintao claims the entire game and conversation was recorded and will be aired at an "appropriate time."
"We had never planned on collecting on the wager but after seeing how pathetic American is being run we may have to pursue it as a way to protect our investment . . . besides I really like San Diego . . . I'd like to give it to my Sweetie as a Birthday gift!"
President Obama responded by threatening to raise President Jintao's taxes and take away his personal jet. When told he doesn't have the authority to do that he said "That damned Boehner and his Tea Party . . . they won't let me have any fun anymore!"