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The FarceHaven Tribune


Missouri Policeman Mortally Wounds Dangerous Concrete Fake Alligator
By Don Myers -- Contributing Author

Sometimes stories are just too ridiculous for even me to make up . . .  well in Independence Missouri the other night, it happened again. Police were called to dispatch a very scary and dangerous concrete alligator in Kansas City by a concerned citizen that said it was chasing his cement dog and plastic cat.

OK, SO I made that last part up, sue me already . . .  anyway upon arriving at the scene the Police were told by a Conservation Warden to "Kill the alligator if they felt it presented a danger" so without further ado, one of the officers shot the monster twice. Only after having the ricochet bullet bounce off his head did the Officer notice the alligator was fake, "It looked really really really real" said Officer Izzy Wythit.

The Officers then scolded the property owner who had placed the very dangerous and scary concrete alligator in his yard to scare off the neighbor kids. The land owner promised to replace the alligator with a fake life-sized statue of Pee Wee Herman. Reportedly the officers agreed with the plan and left to check on a report of a really scary and dangerous Sarah Palin standing in the window of a nearby Kansas City shopping center department store.



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