Cynic Online Magazine
A Cynic Online Magazine Publication Vol , Issue
Home Polls FarceHaven Tribune Cafe Del Soul Features

  Search The Archives:
Cafe Del Soul
The Archives
(Get Published!)

Contact Us

You Know
You Want It!
The Star Wars Trilogy
(Widescreen Edition) DVD
But It From Amazon Today!

The FarceHaven Tribune

Rev. Jesse Jackson Considering Retirement From "Politics & Protesting"
By Don Myers -- Contributing Author

Saying he's "Sick of chasing camera crews who continually ignore me" The ReverandReverend Jesse Jackson may be calling it quits. Agreeing to an interview with one of our reporters if we promised to publish a picture Jackson said he's "burned out, bummed out and fed up with the right winged media who pay him no mind anymore . . .  Heck they don't even call me ReverandReverend anymore . . . no respect, none, zippo!"

Jackson told the FarceHaven he's tried hard to stay releventrelevant by watching the news 24 hours a day looking for the next big opportunity to "Put my gorgeous face in front of a camera crew for a good cause."

The ReverandReverend became irratatedirritated when our Reporter asked "What do you consider a good cause?" Mr.JacksonMr. Jackson responded "Look Skippy, I'll decide when and where I show up . . . but I invite all you folks to send your good causes to my Website . . . you never know, it's been a little slow . . . I swing both ways now days . . . tryin to cut through the haze . . . send me a skype, I'll increase the hype . . . We just had to walk away because the ReverandReverend Jesse Jackson can do rhymes all day.

In a related story, The ReverandReverend Al (not so) Sharpton announced his new Website last week telling a New York Times Reporter "Time are tough, and I can't protest enough, my people love and need me and that's how it auta be"-I'm better then Jesse as a Poet, but he won't admit dat . . . but he know it!"

Return to The Archives