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The FarceHaven Tribune
Chicago IL: People Eating Delicious Animals (PEDA), a meat packing company, today announced the introduction of several new product lines. PEDA currently specializes in the manufacture of beef, lamb and turkey jerky. Another offered product is fried pork rinds.
PEDA management indicated the meat eating public has demanded more exotic forms of jerky. In response PEDA will now be offering kangaroo, zebra and wolf jerky. PEDA's nutritionists felt elephant, rhinoceros and hippopotamus jerky still needed more work to perfect their tastes.
Additionally, advances in technology such as miniature refrigeration units and microwave oven cooking will make PEDA's other new meat products available to a larger segment of the discerning meat craving public. PEDA's engineers have developed a vending machine to dispense chicken on a stick, lamb kabobs and steak cubes. These items will be quickly thawed and cooked to order, as specified by the customer.
The meat vending machines will be located at airports, Metro stations, on subway platforms and in bus shelters. PEDA's marketing experts are facilitating machine placement next to Martini dispensing machines, manufactured by an associated company.
PEDA stock jumped 40 points on the NYSE big board.