Caving in to pressure from all sides, the International Olympic Committee announced Thursday that Hopscotch, a much underrated and verbally abused sport will be added to the new Olympic line-up in addition to sheep shearing, role-playing and pie eating.

"When they agreed to add handball the last Olympics," AD&D champion Roley Poley said in a statement last Tuesday, "we almost lost it. We thought, 'How dare they!' especially after turning down our petition to add gaming to the Olympic menu."

Lyle Loser, spokesman for the Olympic Committee, had this to say in reply. "So we screwed up. I know this is reminiscent of our not taking sports like beach volleyball and table tennis seriously, but believe me, we're trying to make amends. We added those didn't we?"

When asked what other future nominees for Olympic events, Loser was reluctant to respond, but his wife gave us the following list for the meager sum of $300:

* Ping Pong (oh wait--they already did that!)

* Run Swimming (As if Run Walking wasn't dorky enough)

* Cart racing (Mario Kart Racing that is)

* Team Solitaire

* Mud Wrestling

* Caber Toss

* Log Rolling

* Bungee Dumping (Don't ask)

* Cow Tipping (Don't tell)

* Laser Tag

* Hog Calling

* Yodeling

* Masturbating

* Solo Relay Running

* Jello Shots

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