The FarceHaven Tribune

Bible Thumpers of America Needs Conversionists
By John Blackemire -- Staff Writer

Are you a devout believer of the the one and only true faith on this planet? Is it your mission in life to save all those ignorant people around you? Do you have what it takes to stare in the face of the enemy and tell him he is wrong?

Bible Thumpers of America needs hundreds of devoted souls willing to travel the earth and spread the word, risking life, limb and longevity in a moral Crusade in our God for guns program. That's right, you and twenty of your closest allies will travel to the Middle East aboard the cruiseship God's Chosen where will you enjoy a 6 week seminar on conversion techniques aimed as disarming the opposition of Christianity through love and words. They will give you thier guns in exchange for the Word of God. Applicants are encouraged to increase thier life insurance policies before leaving for the seminar.

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